A list of sensational quotes from undisclosed sources.

Someone can’t wait to get rid of this project

Can’t wait to see back of this f%*k&r. It feels like when you have a one night stand and you just want out of of the building immediately

Discussing how to reduce the price of a chicken purchase

if you were to make a deal with a chicken farmer per chicken then maybe you might make it cheaper, as can come out cheaper and you have the whole bird to play with

Skype convo about a new app

a truly amazing contraception
*contraption

Eating out at lunch

Email sent round about having lunch out
Person 1 replies that he has bought lunch and won’t be attending
Dinner time approaches and we stand up to go for dinner
Person 1 states he will come and have a salad
Halfway through the meal..
Person 1 asks – whilst eating a ‘big plate dinner’ – if anyone else is having dessert!

Two colleagues speaking about being busy with running club tomorrow lunch

Person 1: Are you ready for tomorrow?
Person 2: My body’s always ready

When learning the word bird in sign language

Person 1: “How do you do the bird?”
Person 2: “The bird should come over your chest”

We’ve got a wild one…

Person 1: If you could be any animal what would it be?
Person 2: A dolphin
Person 1: Why’s that then?
Person 2: Because they’re intelligent and have sex for fun!

When reading an article and noticing the word EMEA.

Person 1: EMEA :O, Stein has worked with them.
Person 2: EMEA stands for europe, middle east and africa
Person 1: like i give a …

When asked to add some styling on a website.

“we could do with some of that shane lovin”

Upon arrival at the pub

“where’s all the young lasses?”

When meaning precedent

“ha, yeah, im also trying to set a presedence for others”

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