A list of sensational quotes from undisclosed sources.
Two colleagues walk into the toilet of a pub that person 1 hasn't been to before and stand next to each other taking a piss...
person 1: small isn't it
person 2 looks down then back up again in disbelief
person 1: the pub I meant 😂😂
After being struck down with an illness
Things got worse for me after deepthroting that banana
Dev protecting his work
person 1: home page is a bit of a dogs dinner currently
person 2: is the dog eating a steak?
Someone can't wait to get rid of this project
Can't wait to see back of this f%*k&r. It feels like when you have a one night stand and you just want out of of the building immediately
Discussing how to reduce the price of a chicken purchase
if you were to make a deal with a chicken farmer per chicken then maybe you might make it cheaper, as can come out cheaper and you have the whole bird to play with
Skype convo about a new app
a truly amazing contraception
Eating out at lunch
Email sent round about having lunch out
Person 1 replies that he has bought lunch and won't be attending
Dinner time approaches and we stand up to go for dinner
Person 1 states he will come and have a salad
Halfway through the meal..
Person 1 asks - whilst eating a 'big plate dinner' - if anyone else is having dessert!
Two colleagues speaking about being busy with running club tomorrow lunch
Person 1: Are you ready for tomorrow?
Person 2: My body's always ready
When learning the word bird in sign language
Person 1: "How do you do the bird?"
Person 2: "The bird should come over your chest"
We've got a wild one...
Person 1: If you could be any animal what would it be?
Person 2: A dolphin
Person 1: Why’s that then?
Person 2: Because they’re intelligent and have sex for fun!
When reading an article and noticing the word EMEA.
Person 1: EMEA :O, Stein has worked with them.
Person 2: EMEA stands for europe, middle east and africa
Person 1: like i give a ...
When asked to add some styling on a website.
“we could do with some of that shane lovin”
Upon arrival at the pub
"where's all the young lasses?"